VI.2.

Ergi

Way of the 3rd

241-76

p. 243

"Chukchi shamans spoke about the terrible transformation of a man into a "soft man", which all shamans dreaded to be told to do by the spirits. ...

p. 244

The final phase had them ... taking on the tasks of their new gender, and marrying partners appropriate to their new gender. They would in turn acquire special spirits appropriate to that role ... .

There were also female-to-male equivalents of the "soft men"".

p. 244

"Among the Saami, ... Juoksahkka, the "bow-woman", ... is a woman warrior-figure who carries the bow ... . (The bow-woman figure is oddly echoed in ... the Hopi woman-warrior kachina god[dess] Pohaha who carries both the ... bow and the ... rattle ...; and the Egyptian archer goddess Neith ... .) ...

Leabolmmai, the "alder-man" ... brought game to hunters. The first element in his name, liejp, refers to ...

the red sap of the alder tree (a sacred substance that was used to paint symbols on shaman drums and protect people from danger from ritual objects) ... . ...

{"The alder was, and is, celebrated for yielding three find dyes : red from its bark, green from its flowers, brown from its twigs ... . In Cormac's tenth century Glossary of obsolete terms the alder is called ro-eim ... 'that which reddens the face'" (WhG).} {"Odysseus, whose name means 'angry' stands for the red-faced sacred king" (GM 170.11).}

Juoksahkka and Leabolmmai were said to be bitter enemies, ... and they often disagreed".

{Odusseus so little trusted Kalupsoi that he forced her to swear "by the river Styx that she would not deceive him" (GM 170.x). In the Odusseia, "first named of the ... trees ... around the cave of" (WhG) Kalupsoi is /KLeDHra/ ('alder'), a term perhaps cognate with the name /H.uLDah/ of the prophetess whose husband was (2nd Meleki^m 22:14) "keeper of the wardrobe" : cf. the robe provided by Kalupsoi to Odusseus, and which treacherously nearly drowned him in the sea before he could discard it from his body.}

"When it came to smaller wights among the Saami, ... The vuojnodime or "invisible ones" came in three categories : male (bassevare[-]almma), female (bassevare[-]niejda), and double-sexed (gadniha). ...

p. 245

The assumption of "fish" as third-gendered

{Female Cichlid fishes (wrass) are capable of transforming themselves into males.}

echoes the Norse hermaphroditic serpent Jo[,]rmundgand".

{According to myth, seeing snakes coupling can transform a man temporarily into a woman, as in the case of Teiresias (GM 105.h).}

"The ancestor of the seidberendr {seid-berendar}, Svarthofdi {Svart-hofdi} -- Blackhead --

{As nationalities, both Sumerians and Han (Chinese) are self-designated as 'Blackheads'}

reminds us of ... his extremely assertive warrior-wife Angrboda {Angr-boda}. (His daughter Hela {Hel} ... is conversely half-alive and half-dead.)"

p. 254

"a woman who was working with argr energies as a method of mind-altering sex[ual] magic while still in a heterosexual relationship with her male partner ... would refuse penetration but would instead

have him perform oral sex on her for long periods of time."

{If for merely as long durations as would be required for her to achieve orgasm, this is quite minimal.}

p. 255

"In early Tantra {and indeed continuing as praesent-day practice in some localities}, vegetarian initiates were made to eat fish and meat as part of a "love-feast" before partaking of ritual sex[ual intercourse] ... (sex[ual intercourse] with someone's not one's wife, and not in an "ordinary" position) that were to follow. ...

Doing it publicly ... is a greater "offence" still, and thus multiplies the power."

{Sexual relations in public (actually, viewed within a temple) are caerimonially performed in Kama-rupa (Asom/Assam), having been traditional there for nearly a millennium. This caerimony is considered a re-enactment of divine mythology there, and not as any sort of "offense". The power is derived from pleasing the deities, and not at all from offending them.}

p. 256

"In the Skirnismal, there is mention of an ergi-rune, which either causes one to become ergi, or validates the existing condition. ... I went off to find out which rules were bound up in it, using my method of asking each of the rune spirits in turn... . I was amazed ... . It is a bind-rune ..., looking rather like an Inguz boundaried between two vertical lines, with another vertical line in the center. ...

p. 257

Can I cast it ...? ... I can. What will it do? ... It's a dangerous rune. It changes people".

p. 257

"There is ... shapeshifting ... with ... a dramatic effect on the astral body. Most primary transsexuals, when asked, will admit to having intense experiences of "phantom limb syndrome" ..., only for them it was it was a matter of having

p. 258

phantom genitalia that were not the ones that they were born with. This dissonance caused them ... dissociation from the body. ...

Some people with phantom limb syndrome have been able to continue the phenomenon indefinitely (instead of having it fade out over time) by moving their astral limb on a regular basis ... . ... But when such an individual begins to experiment with separating their hame {astral body} from their lich {material body} and moving it about, they'll discover that they are better at it than someone who has gone their entire life with seamless coordination between the two. ... If the only way that you can survive mentally is to become more and more identified with ... your astral body than [with] your physical one, that's a powerful training ground ... .

p. 259

... In this way, the mental and astral dissociation of gender dysphoria becomes a useful tool for {astral-body} journeying, {mental-body} pathwalking, preparing to receive {become possessed by the causal-bodied} spirits, and of course shapeshifting {in bodies transcending the causal}. ... Changing your astral gender is an excellent intermediate step to changing your astral {or rather, extra-causal} species ... . Ideally, the ergi shaman should be able to function while astrally {subtlely} male, female, or somewhere in between, regardless of where their physical form is at any given time."

"There are also those ergi-folk who go mad ..., and take their own lives ... .

Some lived lives of secrecy, in and out of the military of centuries ago".

{Of course, their motive of being in the military would be to rob and to murder with impunity any normal persons (men, women, and children) of foreign nationalities -- such "ergi-folk" being usually violent haters of all persons differing from themselves in even the most trivial of ways. It would be better that they simply "go mad ..., and take their own lives"; than that all of humanity be in danger of being murdered by such crazed fanatics.}

p. 262

"I was born with hugely excessive amounts of testosterone from my mom['s] taking fertility drugs ... . I came in being genetically female, physically in-between ... . ... .

... we had just moved to a small village in Holland where ... I had to get used to being the outsider."

p. 263

"I have functional female bits, although quite larger normal by a long way. But my astral bits --

I have both, and I ... use the male astral bits, the phallus, even though being female. Hela ... can have a phallus, but it's a female phallus, a very strange thing.

{The correct term for this is /kleitorid-/, not "female phallos". In the huaine (hyena) species, the kleitorid- of females is as big as the phallos of males; and among them the females do employ their kleitorid- for tribadism. Tribadism (Sapphism/Lesbianism) is normal enough, even in various other mammalian species; as is well-known among humans in situations of "swinging", polyamory, etc., and ought not to be misdescribed (usually pejoratively) as some sort of trace of inappropriate "masculinity", nor even as "a very strange thing".}

And similarly, I can be in a male space and use my vaginal opening."

p. 264

"I was forced to stay in my body ... with a dislocated kneecap ...;

{The knees of the noble wife of Padma-sambhava are mentioned in a related context.}

I couldn't get out of my body. ...

If you can have a phallus, you can have wings, or claws."

{Her "phallos" is a kleitorid-; while the feminine "claws" may be the avian talons which impart the name /S.ipporah/ to the wife of Mos^eh.}

"I got a lot {enjoyed} ... from doing sexual but non-carnal {non-genital} energy exchanges that didn't even involve astral genitals, it involved hands and exchanging energy through the hands.

{She was doing massaging, with her hands, of others' bodies (joints/limbs), and/or having her body (joints/limbs) massaged by others' hands.}

Because it was not focused on the genitals at all, ... it just became a very swirling kind ... .

{In massaging, a swirling motion of the hands (base of the palms) is commonly used on the major torso-joints (shoulders and hip-bones).}

I understood at a very young age was it was to be sexually penetrative, even though it wasn't done with a penetrative organ

p. 265

made of flesh. ...

{not of material-body flesh, but of astral-body flesh}

For me, its like putting a plug into the socket. All of the electricity comes out of the socket into the plug".

{She inserteth her astral-body kleitorid- into the material vagina of another woman, and enjoyeth thereby an orgasm, even though the other woman can feel no sensation of contact at all. [Quite curious. If the other woman were projected out of the material body in an astral body when this penetration were to occur, she (the other woman) would very definitely feel it, possibly with indignation (similar to her indignation at being forcibly raped by a male).]}

p. 268

"I'm very good at translating boyspeak into girlspeak, and vice versa, for helping couples understand each other."

p. 269

"There are many Norns of varying ranks and powers, drawn from all the races of the 9 worlds, ranging from

the individual lesser Norn guiding a person's soul,

{usually designated "fravas^i/guardian angel", or else "spirit-guide"}

all the way up to the big threesome at the Well of Wyrd.

And I've come to believe that there are two types of Norns, both of whom can see the threads {of Wyrd}, but who alter them in different ways. I call them Fates {Moirai} and Muses {Mousai}. Fates are the ones who actually decide what is for the greater good, and arrange the threads to make it happen. It's all done behind the scenes. I can see the threads, but I don't know that I can actually alter them.

Muses, on the other hand, are the inspirers. They inspire people to think and act in certain ways, but

this only works with the person's consent.

{which would imply the person's awareness that the inspiration is being induced by an external agency (which is not usually the case with ordinary inspiration -- indeed, quite the exception). [This could induce grave doubts of the "inspiration".]}

Which doesn't means that it's necessarily informed consent.

{implying that although the person is aware that the inspiration is due to external forces, the person hath no means of evaluating whether the "inspiration" be accurate (helpful, useful) or not. [This would result in almost certain automatic sharp rejection of the "inspiration".]}

I have found there to be three kinds of Muses : Muses of Desire are those who motivate people to do things, through what they most want to have, do, or be.

Muse of Virtue are those who inspire people to act honorably. ...

Then there are Muses of Fear, who motivate people with what they fear most."

p. 269

"I am a middle-aged female-to-male transsexual, of Anglo-Saxon and Scandinavian ancestry. I have borne multiple children. ...

p. 270

Valfo,dr

{'father of the slain'}

tries his votaries to the breaking point,

{viz., forcibly broke her resistance to being mutilated}

that much I know for sure. ...

Neil Price's exhaustively researched The Viking Way : Religion and War in Late Iron-Age Scandinavia has been my primary resource regarding historical to being ergi are argr. ... .

{apparently implying that horrifying descriptions of warfare terrorized her into submitting to having her genitalia mutilated somewhat?}

... I still use my remaining female anatomy, my genitals, as a source of sexual gratification for myself and my partners. I am the frequent and enthusiastic recipient of penetrative sex[ual intercourse], ...

of extremely queer and transcendent unions."

{a very evasive (prudish?) description!}

p. 273

"I have always an outsider. ... Most of my teachers didn't like me ... . Any individual friends ... would quickly turn against me ... . ... Most of the time I felt utterly alien ... . ... .

{"outsider" = lonely.} {"didn't like me" = I made small attempt to be "likeable".} {"friends ... would quickly turn against me" = I made very poor choices of whom to associate with.} {"utterly alien" = mildly introverted}

p. 274

... you are suddenly faced with the fact the you are Owned by a Deity. ...

{"are Owned by a Deity" = are not an arrant, out-and-out hypocrite (unlike all conventional "Christians", who are utter hypocrites)}

I was born "female"

(a point which my body argues)

{= have not undergone genital mutilation}

in meat-space, but when confronted with an aroused astral form during a lesson ... I was ... finding myself ... with an astral

erection,

{kleitoridal excitation/arousal}

being taught ... mysteries by a shape-shifting God. ... I quickly learned that if my astral

phallus

{kleitorid-, not "phallos"}

had a place to "sit," I would feel markedly less dysphoria. ...

{She wished (quite naturally and normally) to emphasize [to display publicly, to the extent allowed by the law] the shape of her kleitorid-.}

p. 275

Having appropriate sexual outlets helps a lot, and ... I can really tell when I'm getting at least some of what I need. ... In my case, I happen to be a pansexually identified ... being ... . ...

I used to do all this ... In the first person,

{talking to herself about erotic matters}

but once ... the shaman sickness started to manifest ...

whatever productive dialogue I had ceased.

{Her erotic self-talk ceased.}

I had to start treating my body as an entirely separate entity and giving zir {her} credence as such. ... Ze {She (her own body)} was genuinely afraid of me (and rightly so) ..., but

having a body that is in rebellion against its own inhabiting being is difficult and frustrating. ...

{Lacking any male to praise the prettiness of her own body, incited her to accuse her own body of being in rebellion (where the alleged rebellion = her body's neglect to find for her any male to praise it).}

p. 276

Dysphoria can be devastating and can be triggered by ...

an orgasm resulting from imagining myself in a sexual gender role that I can't actually achieve physically in meat-space."

{Achievement of an orgasm resulting from her contemplating (or perhaps actually?) inserting her astral-body kleitorid- into the vagina of another woman! [Quite a praiseworthy achievement! Although other women may be jealous of her on account of her achievement of this, any man would certainly admire and glorify her deleriously for this. But she despiseth men too deeply to mention it ever to any man! -- an absurd, self-created praedicament of quite needless "dysphoria".]}

VI.3.

Open Letter

With J,ormundgand's Lesson

277-87

p. 278

"To be a spirit-worker, to be called by the Gods and/or spirits ... to serve others, to be ridden by spirits, to lose everything and ... have no choice, for whom spirit-work has eaten our entire lives, ... it can be terrifying."

p. 280

"We transgendered spirit-workers have a very long and very public tradition. ...

{Genitally self-mutilated "spirit-workers" are quite scarce worldwide, and known to be antient perhaps only Anatolia. Elsewhere, even crossdressers seem to occur only in recently disrupted cultures, or as a personal protest against militarism.}

Get the surgeries {artificial mutilations of genitalia} ...

like the Sanguinaria of the Roman gallae".

{These Gallae were not a genuinely "Roman" institution, but restricted to non-Roman natives the province Phrugia in Anatolia. "Roman citizens who became gallae lost their citizenship and could even be exiled." ("G")} {Sanguinaria ('Bloodying') is apparently a pun on the name of the Phrugian river-god Sangarios, grandfather of Attis the husband of goddess Kubele (who, according to the myth, castrated her own husband out of selfish jealousy). Perhaps /Sangarios/ may be directly cognate with Skt. /sanga/ 'selfishness'.}

p. 282

"Like the intersex frogs in the Potomac, affected by pesticide runoff ... ."

{[cf. Dieguen~o myth of origin of impiety] "Frog ... thought of a wrong deed to commit. He decided to spit poison into the water" (VW, p. 148).}

p. 283

""Somebody's knocking ..." my assistant said knowingly. "I can tell by the way your aura feels.

Like you're full of static electricity." ...

{suggesting Jo,rmundgandr to be an electric eel deity?}

I remember ... seeing the moonlit lake ... . Then ... suddenly ... I was not in control of my body. It was neck-deep in water ... and spinning, spinning around in a circle, fast {swiftly}. How could I move that fast, in the dragging water? ... I came to ... . ... I panicked ... .

p. 284

... The Great Serpent had moved through me, borrowed my flesh {deity-possession}".

p. 286

lesson by Jo,rmundgandr :

"Between Touch and Faraway Is where the soul begins. ...

Beginning and ending.

The perfect circle,

Tail in mouth ...

Beyond understanding".